Every great financial advisor has heard some version of the following from a client or prospective client: “I wish I’d met you sooner!”

The apparent assumption is that if they had met on an earlier date, they’d have become a client sooner, they’d have better positioned themselves financially, and they’d be better off today than they may be now.

Perhaps they’re right, but regardless, it begs the question—or questions: Why do, why don’t, and why should people look for a financial advisor?

Why do?

Short answer: They’re anticipating or going through a major life transition.

In my 27 years of experience, I’ve observed very few people who just wake up one day with the impulse to find and hire a financial advisor. Many, however, find themselves facing a major transition in life, discover that there are at least minor financial implications involved with this transition, and seek financial direction.

It would be great if this realization comes when someone graduates from high school or college, gets their first job, buys their first car or house, or gets married. But in my experience, the first life transition that really gets people’s attention is having a child—or perhaps the first time the new Mom and Dad go on vacation without Junior.

They recall hearing that you should have a will (which you should) and that leads to other tangential considerations, like buying life insurance (also important) and saving for college (a good idea, too).

Other life transitions that tend to inspire outreach to a financial advisor are a job change, a divorce, or the death or disability of someone close—but the interesting theme here is that these are life events with financial implications, not mere changes in financial circumstances, that drive behavior.

Even those instances that appear to be financially motivated are often more about emotion than money. For example, your friend tells a story about making X% on a particular investment, and that motivates you to glance at your portfolio, only to learn that you’ve made less than X%. Your call to a new financial advisor at that moment is really more about FOMO than finance.

And indeed, nearly every life event—major or minor—has financial implications.

Why don’t?

Short answer: The pain of inaction isn’t yet as strong as the pain of action.

Sure, you lose a little sleep because you don’t have an updated will in place, but the chances of that will being necessary—in the short term—are very low, so you suppress your better judgment.

Yes, the idea of destitution in your Golden Years is a little scary, but not as painful as the notion of parting with your hard-earned cash today.

Indeed, a college education is important to you, but who has time to worry about a 529 plan when diapers—and later, club sports—are so expensive?

Your portfolio looks more like a collection of securities than a purposeful portfolio, but the cost of change is just enough to allow apathy to win the day.

And this is something that financial advisors need to be aware of, by the way: However additive, we are an inconvenience. Our clients are taking time out of busy days, only to spend more time—and money, in all likelihood—to follow through on their instinct to reach out to us in the first place. Oh, and then they likely won’t perceive a tangible benefit from much of the services we offer for years to come. (Yes, advisors, in addition to fully appreciating this reality, we have an opportunity to do everything possible to eliminate friction in our client experience—and to evolve our services to the point that they provide measurable benefits sooner, as well as later.)

There are plenty of other specific reasons people don’t reach out to financial advisors—fear, shame, ignorance, self-determination, bad experiences with advisors in the past, or generally good experiences with their DIY efforts—but we can lump virtually all of these reasons into this single category: The pain of choosing to work with an advisor (or a new advisor), perceived or real, has to be less than the (continued) pain of inaction.

Why Should?

Short answer: It’s not what you think.

It’s not because if you save sooner you’ll have more money later. It’s not because you could make enough money in an investment to cause your friends to have FOMO for a change. It’s not because you could be the proud owner of a 529 or any number of insurance policies, and it’s certainly not because you’d become conversant in tax code or estate law.

No, while all of these things could be true, the best reason to seek out and work with a financial advisor isn’t a “should” or “have to” at all—it’s a “get to.” You get to apply a sense of purpose and meaning to your money.

This thing we call money plays a role in just about everything we do in life. Heck, we’re spending money while we’re sleeping! And just about every waking decision we make—from turning on the shower to listening to music to brewing the perfect cup of coffee—has a cost.

Good financial planning might help you save a mound of money and it might even help you spend it—but great financial planning is an exercise in discerning, defining, and declaring what’s most important to you in life…and then pointing your resources in that direction to live with financial freedom, protect what you hold most dear, envision and grow toward an aspirational future, and give to the people and causes you love the most.

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